A Christmas Story.

We are very nearly there now, it’s almost

Christmas Eve did everyone hear that

Christmas! Christmas! Christmas!!!

I wish for you all a joyous Christmas

and A Happy New Year.

A Christmas Story.

'Twas the night before Christmas ‘n Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!

I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa".. what do I hear?
My wife just bitches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money.. the reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
Then when I thought that things would get better
Those IRS assholes sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes.. that’s just damn funny,
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus money?

And the kids these days.. they all are the pits
They want the impossible.. those mean little sh*ts
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls.. their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo-yo's.. no request for them,
They want computers and robots.. they think, I'm IBM!

Flying through the air.. dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my ass and draw unemployment.
There's no Christmas this year, now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde, I'm going SOUTH for the season.

Author Unknown.