Skew Wiff Kelly

Skew wiff might well be a term some readers won’t
recognize, it means tilted, slanted, not straight etc.

Cockies is a slang name for farmers, ranchers etc.

“Skew Wiff Kelly”

His name was “Skew Wiff Kelly”
And everything he built
Was either at an angle
Or leaning on a tilt!

On all of his construction jobs
He used the rule of thumb.
He’d close one eye and line it up
And reckon it was plumb.

He would use the best of timber
And take a lot of care,
But every job completed
Was a little bit off-square.

His reputation grew and grew
As “Skew Wiff” moved around
The cockies overlooked his faults
For his workmanship was sound!

So as you travel round the place
You can see where “Skew Wiff’s” been.
The hayshed leaning sideways,
That verandah with a lean.

You’ve seen his good old tankstands,
They’ve a wind-blown look with time.
His fences have a stagger,
And wander just off line.

You’ve seen a “Skew Wiff” chimney
And you’ve seen a “Skew Wiff” door.
His buildings stand – defiant –
Of the gravitation law.

Yet a funny thing about it,
Though the buildings aren’t quite straight,
They always look so comfortable
As if they’d time to wait!

Now “Skew Wiff” died some years ago,
But I reckon he’d be pleased
For his tombstone’s got a lean on –
At forty-five degrees!

Grahame Watt