Windy Hill

Windy Hill

My doctor dropped his stethoscope

And looked me in the eye

“Good gracious man, you’ve little hope

I cannot tell a lie

You’re overweight, cholesterol’s shot

Blood pressure off the scale

Your system’s really gone to pot

Your colour’s ghastly pale

It’s exercise you really need

Give up the demon drink

Stop smoking all that filthy weed

And diet till you shrink.”

His expert words I took to heart

Gave up the food I like

No cigarettes or beer to start

And went and bought a bike

I pedaled high, I pedaled low

No hill could conquer me

Till “Windy Hill” near Ravenshoe

A challenge this would be

I wheezed and gasped to reach the top

With legs that felt afire

And thumping heart I feared might stop

Should I try to cycle higher

The steep decent to Ravenshoe

At least was all downhill

From “Everest” I gazed below

Well, at least from “Windy Hill”

Increasing speed, I coasted down

In fact I fairly sailed

Then realized with cause to frown

The brakes completely failed

White knuckles grasped the handlebars

My shoulders crouched in fear

I overtook each truck and car

And grimly tried to steer

A bat from hell, a streaking flash

Up Grigg street did I roar

Until with one almighty crash

I hit the pushbike store

My pushbike’s now a mangled mess

My nerves completely shot

My life endangered far, far less

When no exercise I got

With cans my bin now overflows

My smoker’s breath’s much stronger

Although my weight just grows and grows

I think I’ll live much longer

By Doug Berry