The Bobbitt Hillbillies
(to the tune of "The Beverly Hillbillies.)
Come and listen to a story ‘bout a man named John
A poor ex-marine with a little fraction gone.
It seems one night after getting with his wife,
She lopped of his dong with the swipe of a knife.
Penis that is, clean cut, missed his nuts.
Well the next thing you know there’s a knife by his side
And Lorena’s in the car taking willie for a ride,
She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend
And she tossed him out the window as she went around a bend.
Curve that is, tossed the nub, in the scrub.
She went to the cops and confessed to the attack
They called out the hounds just to get his weenie back,
They sniffed and they barked and they pointed “over there”
To John Wayne’s henry that was waving in the air.
Found that is, by the fence, evidence.
So the dick doc said. “Hey I can fix your dong
A needle and a thread is all we’re gonna need.”
And the whole world waited
Till they heard that Johnny peed.
Whizzed that is, even seam, straight stream.
Well he healed and he hardened and he took his dick to court,
With a half arsed lawyer, ‘cause his assets came up short.
They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape,
And his pecker was the only thing they didn’t show on tape.
Video that is, Unexposed, case closed.
Ya’ll sleep on your stomachs now ya hear!
Author unknown
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